I'm NOT Back. I'm NOT Tired as H.

We did NOT have a good time on Edisto Island.
We will NOT do an island vacation next year.

Charleston did NOT suck.
The SS Yorktown and Fort Sumter were NOT awesome.

Our house was NOT nice.
It was NOT great being on the beach.

I did NOT love the outdoor shower.
I did NOT love it So Much.

We did NOT discover queen beds are for newlyweds and otherwise crazy people.
We did NOT sleep separately.

We did NOT declare the downstairs apartment Mr.’s “Man Cave,” then change it to “Poop Cave” on behalf of all the Nervous Dumpers who used his bathroom.
He did NOT handle it good-naturedly.

We did NOT enjoy feeding seagulls.
They are NOT rats with wings.

I did NOT enjoy a sunrise with Darling.
It did NOT thrill me to hear her say it was her favorite vacation moment.
It does NOT thrill me still.

I did NOT hate the weak surf for the first three days.

I did NOT get knocked on my teakettle every time I rode in/tried to stand.

I did NOT love/hate the seashells.
They did NOT cut bare feet. And ankles.
They did NOT flay our arms and legs.
I did NOT bring home dozens.

I did NOT face plant, eat sand, lose my sunglasses AND the top of my suit in a Greg Brady wipeout (a la episode 073, “Hawaii Bound”.)
It did NOT wreck me for surfing the next day.

I did NOT discover that my “good camera” has a hidden battery.
Said battery is NOT uncommon.
It did NOT die while on vacay.
Darling does NOT have this very same camera, nor did she have the very same battery dilemma.
We did NOT thank God for my backup camera.

My Dolls do NOT have mad picture-taking skills.

I did NOT love seeing the awesome father/son thing between Mr. and Darling SIL.

They did NOT conspire against the womenfolk.

There will NOT be retribution.

I did NOT read a dozen books.
They were NOT spectacularly entertaining.

I did NOT make really, really bad coffee.

I did NOT drink Mylanta, use a heating pad, and take daily naps.
I did NOT go to bed early.

I did NOT gain weight.

I did NOT shave All The Way Up two times in one week.

My tan is NOT leathery-looking, ash brown.
Everyone else is NOT pinkish, and/or golden brown.

I am NOT old.

That picture does NOT suck.