Women Pee While Standing? Here's Your Sign, Idiot

It all started at Culvers.

No. Wait. It started with the SITS Spring Fling…

[cue dream sequence]

On March 9th SITS hosted a giveaway party. Bloggers offered prizes and visited each others’ giveaway posts like comment Aguileras.
There were hundreds.
It was madness. It was delightful.

Giveaway booty included lots of baby and children’s items. There were handcrafted goods, high end loot, last minute “I-wasn’t-prepared” stuff, and some unusual things.

One blogger was offering a Shewee. Even I was disgusted.

The Shewee allows women to urinate while standing.

Maybe you’re thinking; germs abound on toilet seats in public restrooms.

My retort is, “Yea, and they’re put there by women who try to hover. Cuz they’re pi**ing all over the seat.”

The greatest risk for the back of my legs to contract a seat-borne illness comes when I follow HoverGirl, and sit in her Liquid Leavings.

I don’t use a throne with a wet seat.

I will wait.

Cuz I sit.

I don't hover.

And I will never stand.

Not with a Shewee, a Whiz Biz or a P-Mate. Not with a Go Girl, My Sweet Pee, or any of the dozens of devices designed for this unthinkable business.

It’s gross.

But evidently there’s a demand.

Several sites claim It’s The Wave of the Future.
(I prefer jet packs and hover cars, robot maids and meals in pill form.)

When I rushed my Traveler's Bladder into the restroom at Culver’s I thought, “OMG it’s happening.”

There were two urinals.

Culvers is a Wisconsin original. I love Culvers.
They serve delicious “Butter Burgers” and delightful frozen custard. They have great onion rings and my people love their deep-fried cheese “curds".
Let’s just say I’m Culvers savvy.

All Culvers have the same menu. They have the same prices, the same uniforms, the same décor. If you eat at enough Culverses it even appears they have the same people behind the counter; smiling, happy faces ready to take your money and give you food that’s the living end of deliciousness.

All Culvers have the same design.

So why was the ladies room divided by a real wall with a real door, instead of metal stalls?
I was surprised that there was only a single toilet on the other side.

“Wow,” I thought, “Culvers really wants the ladies to Pee Standing Up.”

“No,” I reasoned, hurrying to the business side of the real door, “that’s for moms who bring their sons into the ladies room.”
Hurrying now to Go cuz I'm over forty (and there were onion rings waiting)...

No place to hang my purse. That’s odd.

Peeing.

OMG! I’m in the men’s room!

Over forty does NOT stop peeing mid stream. (Over forty is happy not to pee unexpectantly. )
But man, did I rush.

Go to Culvers. Their food is scrumptious.

But beware; sometimes the ladies room is on the left.
Here's your sign.