Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Oh, We're TALKING About This

"The problem is not inside your head", he said to me
“You’re like your mom more than you ever thought you’d be.
If we were wealthy, there’d be plastic surgery.
Cuz there’s like; fifty ways you’re like your mother.”

He said “It's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope you won’t get peeved or I know I’ll be screwed.
But I'll repeat myself; I wish you looked better nude.
There must be fifty ways you’re like your mother.
Fifty ways you’re like your mother.

You look bad from the back, ack.
You’ve got old hands, man.
You look like a boy, oy.
You’re long in the teeth.
Lookit your small bust.
There’s no need to discuss much.
Take it from me, gee,
You need surgery.

You look bad from the back, ack.
You’ve got old hands, man.
You look like a boy, oy.
You’re long in the teeth.
Lookit your small bust.
There’s no need to discuss much.
Take it from me, gee,
You need surgery."

He said “It grieves me so. It looks like you’re in pain.
I wish there was something I could do to make you young again.”
I said sarcastically “Would you please explain
About the fifty ways?”

He said “Why don't we both just sleep on it tonight?
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see I’m right.”
Well, that just pissed me, and I realized we were gonna have a fight.
Cuz there’s like; fifty ways I’m like my mother.
Fifty ways I’m like my mother.

25 comments:

  1. This made me laugh and cry at the same time!

    It's inevitable isn't it? And why is it that when my husband tells me I am like my mother it pisses me off, but when I tell him he is exactly like his father he is okay with it? HE HATES HIS FATHER! I love my mom and wouldn't mind it too much if I got some of her qualities but it still makes me mad when compared to her.

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  2. My husband better not tell me I'm like my mom. Grounds for divorce!

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  3. Considering the fact that my mother is batshitcrazy, I'm very fortunate that my husband says I'm NOT like her ...

    Hey, Kel ... I'm back in the land of the living. I survived National Novel Writing Month and am back in the blogging saddle again.

    Missed ya, babe!

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  4. Being adopted, this one is a nature/nurture thing for me. I don't resemble my mom physically at all (duh) which sort of sucks because she was heavy when she was my age but now she's really petite. It might've been nice to have that to look forward to. The hubs and kids call me on it IMMEDIATELY if I say anything that makes me sound like her. Because the things she says - always bad - have become so much worse as she ages. Frick, man. What'd you have to go and bring up mothers for?

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  5. I'm gonna be watching the news to see the gruesome details behind the murder of your Mr. Yikes. 2 posts so close together!!!!! Waahoo!!!

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  6. I'm completely ticked that I sang my way through that. Hilarious!

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  7. I was singing your post before hitting the half way mark. Most excellent. It seems we all fear those terrible terrible words..."just like your mother". Made my blood run a bit cold just to type them.

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  8. I, too, was able to sing my way through this post. I love, love, love my mother, so I laugh when my family says I'm getting just like her as far as mannerisms and personality. Her butt is getting flatter as time goes by though, and I can swear mine is starting to go that route. oy.
    BTW - I haven't seen any nude pix, (duh) but all of the pix of you that I have seen, you look FAB.

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  9. What! I had to giggle though, because nothing else he said seemed to bother you except the phrase about being like your mother. Small bust didn't bother you. Long in the tooth didn't bother you. Bad back didn't bother you. But 50 ways you're just like your mother bugged you! Yeah, it would me too.

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  10. Hey, he married you. Maybe he had a thing for your mother?

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  11. Ah, yes, I was singing too. Marvellous! Here's to our mothers.

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  12. OK, Now I want to hear the story behind this most excellent parody.

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  13. I had to sing my way through that post, too. I know there are someways I'm much like my Mother, but in many ways I as SO not like her. It's a win, win.

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  14. I miss my mom. She's dead. I am like her a lot and I like it.

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  15. I'm a little embarrassed to tell you how long it took me to figure out that those words went to a Paul Simon song. Well done.

    I am my mother. I think I figured that out when I was 14 or 15. She's pretty cool, so I just opted to embrace it.

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  16. Paul Simon look out. Someone's gunnin' for your job. And since she's boyish and has old hands, I'm not sure you want to mess with her.

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  17. You ROCK!!
    Your Mother must be some old broad!
    God love her!!
    LMBO!!

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  18. LOL, where do you come up with these things woman? im gonna slip out the back jack.. cuz i am SO turning into my mother.. the worst in the ding-batness that is invading me.. oh it sux.

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  19. The Cute is picking through the garbage right now.

    She likes weird songs like Boom Boom Pow.

    She'll bite you so hard that you'll be forced to say 'OW!'

    ...

    You get where this is going.

    Couldn't help it.

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  20. Paul would be proud. My husband always likes to point out how I am like my grandmother. I took a picture of him the other day and it so closely resembled his dad - who let's just say is pretty old -- I think I have sufficiently scared him from further chastising me with how much I am like my mom/grandmother (and not in a good way)

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  21. That is like my favorite song ever! I'd love to see you sing it at Karaoke.

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  22. bahaha. I just caught sight of my mother in my mirror today. She's been there for quite awhile.

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  23. Oh Kelly........

    Kelly, Kelly, Kelly...........

    I've missed you!!!!! ( have to go wipe the pepsi off my monitor now.......)

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  24. Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all! You are hilarious! thanks for the smiles today! Merry Christmas! Karen~

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The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. -Quentin Crisp

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