Thursday, March 18, 2010

I Judge, Therefore I Condemn

I don’t know if you’ve figured it out, but I’M your Minus One as of Wednesday.
I don’t want to slink away. I don’t want to expose you either.
You’ve exposed enough thankyouverymuch.

Between you and me - it’s Over the Top. And not in a Good Way. And it’s NOT been between you and me, like pals over coffee, or on a road trip, or falling-down, pre-crying-jag “I love you so-ho-ho much” drunk, which is when Normal People let that caliber of private sh*t fall from their mouths.
You BLOG about it, in excruciating detail.

If I was your mama, your sister, your BFF, or I randomly bumped into you on the street I would say “Jeez girl, that is gross, and waHAY too much information!”
But that’s just me. So instead I stop.
Which is a shame because my comments were nonexistent my absence will go unnoticed when you’re not making readers uncomfortable you’re sharing some dang fun stuff.

Blog on. Say what you want.
Don’t go changing to try ‘n please me.

But understand that I can’t play along when the TMI you’re offering is in all actuality T(6) x M(3) x I(gag).
Reading the deets on your latest endeavor is Simply. Too. Much.

It’s not you; it’s me.

I’m not judging except to say you’re wrong, it’s bad, and I’m a better person.
Oh, that sounds like judging.


  1. You? Judge?? pffffffffft. I don't believe it ;-) Please don't stop commenting on my blog though as your comments are pretty much the only interesting part of my blog. There. I said it.

  2. And I was so looking forward to Vlad coming out and doing a tell all memoir about the Savant household. *pout*

  3. OMG, is it me? Wait, it can't be me, I haven't even blogged lately. But I'm afraid the only way to reassure me completely is to post a link to who you're actually talking about. :)

  4. When it is out on full display you have every right to. I'm not a judger either, but when it hits a point I have NO problem turning the other way. Hmmm i'm a little curious who is so willing with the TMI.

  5. Ok, gimme a minute for the ol' heart rate to slow down ... made a mad dash to the ol' followers list just to make sure. It's. Not. Me.


    But now you've piqued our interest. Like train wrecks, we can't help watching, it's so grotesquely fascinating, and if we knew who the blogger was, we'd wouldn't be able to help ourselves, we'd have to go look. Just a little peek. But we'd never actually follow! Honest!

  6. WHEW! Not me.

    But then I didn't really think it could be. I'm just too awesome.

    Aren't I?

  7. I have to agree with "Dame Nuisance"....

    It's a train wreck thing.... and curiosity has done me in before.....

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  9. It was me; I confess. I shouldn't have described my whore bath yesterday! Please forgive me....don't go way!

  10. I hear you say it's bad (in such a cleverly clever way) but what you've done is made me want to read it. I mean what could be so bad to make you want to run away? I MUST KNOW.

  11. It is your right to follow who you want. To say what you want. That is why I enjoy you. I have done my share of un-following people because they bore me or gross me out. I doubt they know- or care.

  12. Okay so I read the JenJen comment then visited the blog that she mentioned (because I'm curious like that and also somewhat of a detective apparently) and now my mouth is stuck wide opened! I don't know if that's the blog you unfollowed, but holy shock-a-roney! Seriously, I think my eye is twitching.

  13. Okay. I'm late. For a very important date. Girl. You can't judge without me.
    It better not be me though.

  14. I usually check out several posts before I follow. I guess sometimes one pops out at you that is unsettling at a later date.
    I have lost followers now and then. I am really pretty tame but once in a while I may call someone an asshat. Bang there goes a follower.
    I didn't mean to offend you Kelly.

  15. But...



    The booger WAS green and crisp.

    The normalcy of overshare has made me question whether or not I really belong in the land of the Interwebz. People be KUHrayZEE.


    I'm way nosy. Curious. Nosy.

    Boogers. Nose.


    (I'm also way unoriginal, for Green and Crisp is the type of salad I ate for dinner. Fresh Express. BOGO.)

    ((By SALAD I mean BOOGER.))

  16. Wow, Wow, Wow! Free speech be damned! You have people AFRAID that you may be writing about them. AFRAID they may lose you as a follower! Talk about insecurities. I had to read your profile to know who this woman with all the power is. You build yourself up very well so i wonder why you have to tear someone else down. I read the blog I think you speak of. It appears to be quite popular lately.Its being recommended by other bloggers. And can someone really call shower sex with your husband a "whore bath"? hmm... im sure you will delete this comment as well since i don't fear your repercussion. But healthy debate and free speech should rein supreme.

  17. Noted. Will think twice before launching into a detailed description of gray pubes. ;-)

    Great blog
    I'm a new follower...looking forward to the laughs.

  18. Did not realize I was insecure. My bad.

  19. Now I am worried on a couple of levels:
    1. Am I the one who shares TMI and I will lose you because of it?
    2. Do I read the blog that shares TMI and have not noticed that it shares TMI, and therefore I am just as likely to BE the blog that shares TMI?
    3. Do you think I am the only one who understands what I'm trying to say in #2?

  20. These posts really write themselves, don't they?

    bishing about bloggers and the crap they write is probably pretty simple.

    i wouldn't know, b/c i don't do that.

    but i would imagine it would be pretty easy.

    not judging.

    but seriously, considering it.

    on the other hand, i would love it if every person who stopped following me blogged about it.

    So I could figure out how they came to that decision.

    And then I would be all, hmmm, okay.

    Now I know.

    Thank you for the insight.

    And then they would be dead to me.

  21. im catching up on all my blogs and feel totally lost.

    ...going to try and get to the bottom of this

  22. Kelly, I really miss you blogging. re: above - I'm totally lost. Please come back


The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. -Quentin Crisp

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.