Friday, May 14, 2010

I'm Still Not Dead Yet, Hardly

"Looking on the Bright Side with Kel" was going to be a Savant original.
I thought it’d be a great themed post. My goal was to tell you what things suck the least, despite the stack of odds against me.

I planned to use my stellar powers of observation and share pearls of wisdom in that ever-cheerful way of mine.
Remember my ever-cheerful way?
Well you can forget about it.

Turns out; the glass is not only half-empty, it’s fly-specked and chipped.

I got a Kindle for my bday. I’m also the proud owner of a new iPod touch.
How do you spell sedentary?

Since we last talked I’ve had several life-changing revelations, none of ‘em worth sharing.
There’s been upheaval in the Savant household, but I won’t bore you.
You want more about the kitties, but even they fail to inspire posts.
Vlad. Schmad.

(Darling HATES Vlad’s posts. Imagine.)

So I've got nothing.


Still; I sat down at the computer and in no time I was writing.

It was a “To Do” list.

For Mr.


If he doesn’t get busy I’m going to have to Do stuff.

I hate doing stuff.

“Get on with it,” I told myself gruffly.
And as quick as a wink I realized; I need a snack.

Before you can say “carbotose” I was sorting laundry in my mind while reclining on the patio.

After a short break for some TiVo 'n Me time, I knew I was ready.
For a shower.
And coffee.

All of a sudden it came to me; I should paint the blah-blah for the yadayadaya.
I remembered why I hate spray paint.

But I digress.

It's how I roll.

I really ought to be more organized when it comes to time management and project completion.

I figured my best bet would be ooo, shiny…

15 comments:

  1. The long-awaited return of Savant!!!!! Sound the horns!!! Don't leave us hangin' on all the news. Enquiring minds want to know more. Now.

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  2. I knew you'd be back. You couldn't stand it, could you? You missed all of us too much. And it's not like you to sit quietly. I agree with carma, enquiring minds what to know more.
    Really just glad to hear you're alive!

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  3. LLOL. Love it! It's a skill to do nothing well. You write well and you're funny...

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  4. I have been hating my own "to do list." So instead of working on it, I have been snacking... (so much for those 15 pounds I lost while carb counting with Mr. Sullivan) and thrift shopping. And as much as I am currently enjoying those shopping items, some of them need to be spray painted. Unfortunately, that would fall under the category of the "to do list." It is a vicious cycle. Project completion? Ha! I think I'll go shopping instead! Glad you're back, Kel. :-) Sue

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  5. Welcome back, favorite.

    I've gained 3 lbs in your absence.

    THAT'll learn ya to leave people with nuthin ta read!!!

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  6. We've had upheaval, too. Kinda makes it hard to be lite and funny, doesn't it?

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  7. I hope that the giant bag of suck that has been hitting you in the face is now deflated on someone else's front porch.

    Thanks for returning to us!

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  8. Glad you're back... as I missed you on your first return! Upheaval's what it's all about, right? I sometimes look around for the camera crew that I'm sure is filming my life, cause this brand of crazy is too good to waste.

    I need me some irreverent wit!

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  9. Don't you ever do that "quitting" thing again! Vlad Schmad, indeed! I don't need Vlad. I want Kel!
    Also, guess what? I got a Kindle for my birthday too!!!!!
    And! I'm so stupid and used to my phone with a touch screen that I try to use the Kindle that way too! DER!

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  10. Technically, this is the post I showed up for, but I read the other one first.

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  11. I'm so glad you're back! I think you may need a little more caffeine today tho...
    loved the post anyway! That's how I talk!

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  12. Welcome back! I have had a short sabbatical myself. Does the body good. Like milk. And sex.

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  13. so glad your back, you and your sedentary self!!

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The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. -Quentin Crisp

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