Friday, May 14, 2010

I'm Still Not Dead Yet, Hardly

"Looking on the Bright Side with Kel" was going to be a Savant original.
I thought it’d be a great themed post. My goal was to tell you what things suck the least, despite the stack of odds against me.

I planned to use my stellar powers of observation and share pearls of wisdom in that ever-cheerful way of mine.
Remember my ever-cheerful way?
Well you can forget about it.

Turns out; the glass is not only half-empty, it’s fly-specked and chipped.

I got a Kindle for my bday. I’m also the proud owner of a new iPod touch.
How do you spell sedentary?

Since we last talked I’ve had several life-changing revelations, none of ‘em worth sharing.
There’s been upheaval in the Savant household, but I won’t bore you.
You want more about the kitties, but even they fail to inspire posts.
Vlad. Schmad.

(Darling HATES Vlad’s posts. Imagine.)

So I've got nothing.

Still; I sat down at the computer and in no time I was writing.

It was a “To Do” list.

For Mr.

If he doesn’t get busy I’m going to have to Do stuff.

I hate doing stuff.

“Get on with it,” I told myself gruffly.
And as quick as a wink I realized; I need a snack.

Before you can say “carbotose” I was sorting laundry in my mind while reclining on the patio.

After a short break for some TiVo 'n Me time, I knew I was ready.
For a shower.
And coffee.

All of a sudden it came to me; I should paint the blah-blah for the yadayadaya.
I remembered why I hate spray paint.

But I digress.

It's how I roll.

I really ought to be more organized when it comes to time management and project completion.

I figured my best bet would be ooo, shiny…


  1. The long-awaited return of Savant!!!!! Sound the horns!!! Don't leave us hangin' on all the news. Enquiring minds want to know more. Now.

  2. I knew you'd be back. You couldn't stand it, could you? You missed all of us too much. And it's not like you to sit quietly. I agree with carma, enquiring minds what to know more.
    Really just glad to hear you're alive!

  3. LLOL. Love it! It's a skill to do nothing well. You write well and you're funny...

  4. I have been hating my own "to do list." So instead of working on it, I have been snacking... (so much for those 15 pounds I lost while carb counting with Mr. Sullivan) and thrift shopping. And as much as I am currently enjoying those shopping items, some of them need to be spray painted. Unfortunately, that would fall under the category of the "to do list." It is a vicious cycle. Project completion? Ha! I think I'll go shopping instead! Glad you're back, Kel. :-) Sue

  5. Welcome back, favorite.

    I've gained 3 lbs in your absence.

    THAT'll learn ya to leave people with nuthin ta read!!!

  6. We've had upheaval, too. Kinda makes it hard to be lite and funny, doesn't it?

  7. I hope that the giant bag of suck that has been hitting you in the face is now deflated on someone else's front porch.

    Thanks for returning to us!

  8. Glad you're back... as I missed you on your first return! Upheaval's what it's all about, right? I sometimes look around for the camera crew that I'm sure is filming my life, cause this brand of crazy is too good to waste.

    I need me some irreverent wit!

  9. Don't you ever do that "quitting" thing again! Vlad Schmad, indeed! I don't need Vlad. I want Kel!
    Also, guess what? I got a Kindle for my birthday too!!!!!
    And! I'm so stupid and used to my phone with a touch screen that I try to use the Kindle that way too! DER!

  10. Technically, this is the post I showed up for, but I read the other one first.

  11. I'm so glad you're back! I think you may need a little more caffeine today tho...
    loved the post anyway! That's how I talk!

  12. Welcome back! I have had a short sabbatical myself. Does the body good. Like milk. And sex.

  13. so glad your back, you and your sedentary self!!


The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. -Quentin Crisp

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